Hiatus

I know, I know. I didn't forget.

I did write a post for this month - really. For personal reasons, I'm not going to post it for the time being. Life has been pretty...vicissitudinal...lately. So it's not a word - it's the root that matters. Point is, I've been engaging life so much that I needed to take a little bit of a hiatus from blogging this month. I plan to have something for next month, but know that things are happening in this brain and life of mine.

The Best Birthday Present

For my birthday last year, a number of my closest friends from college and I went to see the film "Les Miserables", which I had not yet seen at that time. I thought the film itself was incredible, but part of what made that experience so memorable as a birthday present was just being able to have all of my closest friends around me and realize how much we all cared about each other mutually, and as I drank in all of the feelings of that moment, I realized the best birthday presents that I have received (and continue to receive) are experiences rather than objects, such as the one above.

That being said, there is one birthday present that I get every year that is partially an object, but very much of an experience. This present is actually one that I give to myself. In the article that I posted on Facebook a few days ago, it discusses the story of a twelve-year-old girl who had written a letter to herself, and it actually went viral when her parents posted it on Facebook when opening it after she unexpectedly passed away. I find this concept is brilliantly illustrated in the movie below from SoulPancake. For those who have not heard of SoulPancake, to put it briefly, it is an organization decided to helping people, "Be more awesome!"

Now, as much as I'd like to, there's not really a way that I can send letters from my current self back to the past (unless SoulPancake has some groundbreaking science secrets to tell us). However, I can write letters to myself in the future - and I do. Going on about three years now, it's become a birthday tradition for me to take some time on or around my birthday (and if nothing else, at least the month of January) to read the letter that I wrote to myself the year prior, and then sit down and write a letter to my future self. 

This has actually become a very beautiful personal, motivational, inspirational, and even spiritual experience, both in reading my past letters and writing future letters. I usually try to keep my letters to one to two pages, and it's interesting how much thought I end up putting into making sure that I convey the most important information to myself about what has happened over the past year and what advice my "future me" will need at his point in life. It becomes a reflection of the most important parts of the past year, as well as look forward into what advice or support I may need in the coming year(s), and in that sense, it becomes not only an object, but an experience as well - an experience of remembering everything I have, everything I've done, and everything I am.

Below I've included some of the gems that I've gotten from reading the letters from some of my "past selves", which, although they haven't necessarily been extremely profound in the entirety of the world's sphere, I've found they've somehow been just what I need when I open and read them. The dates that I've written next to the comments are the year in which the letter was written and the year that I would have first opened it, respectively.

(2011-2012)

• "I know that I can be whatever I tell myself I am - whether it be positive or negative."
• "I learned...that you don't have to be perfect to love or be loved by someone...that to be a teacher is to learn..."
• "...don't forget about your family, leaders, and friends who are there to help you - talk with them!"
• "Most important of all, remember I love you!"

(2012-2013)

• "...your true friends are those who love you for who you are...don't let them get away."
• "Rejoice in yourself - you may be very different...but...your difference is a good difference..."
• "Don't back down - when things get harder, that's even more of a sign that you have to step it up - and you can - and you will."
• "You have tremendous inner strength - more than you know..."
• "Michael, I love you."

(2013-2014)

• " Is today the best day of your life?"
• "Just stay with me."
• "...realize that you are not 'the only one'..."
• "Do you realize the power of your example?"
• "This isn't a prize to be won, it's a race to be run..."
• "Today is a great day - and tomorrow will only be better."
• "I love you."

There is one thing that always seems to be included in my letters, and I feel like it was included in all the letters people wrote to themselves in the video above. "I love you." In the long run, I have a really hard time loving myself, and generally, tend to just tolerate myself from day to day. Whether it's the world that tells us these messages or something inside of ourselves, I think all of us have a hard time really loving ourselves, to some extent. And that's something that we need to remind ourselves of more often. Part of what makes me really love these letters is that they remind me (both intellectually and emotionally) that I do love myself, and that's the best birthday present I could ever get.

So what will you do to remind "future you" to love himself/herself? I hope you think about that, because it's important, and if you'd like, feel free to comment below. I'd love to hear it!

On Sunsets

Hello, readers (whatever sparse collection of those I have left, anyway), 
I know it's been a while. Life has been very busy over the past year, but one of my potential New Year's resolutions is to write in my blog more regularly the next year, so to start off early, I wanted to post a poem I wrote a while back. I find it's especially appropriate for the season, as a farewell to the Old Year and a welcome to the New Year 2014. So to all of you, I hope you've had an excellent 2013, and I hope to see you down the road in the New Year!

On Sunsets
Michael Dressman

The sun rolls down the crested hill,
The light, it follows after.
The clouds drift by as sandy dunes,
The sky, it echoes laughter

Of days well spent and friends well made,
Of quests before and yon.
The dust of time gets lifted up,
As sand, continues on.

The mount emits such wondrous rays,
It lights the wisps above.
And turns the blue sky pink and gold,
To color it with love

Of past and future family
Of journeys to and fro
But like death's kiss and winter's fall
The sand, it too must go.

The globe is spinning, light transforms
From pink to purple-blue,
And hazy stars come out to shine
And represent what's true.

Like sad goodbyes and wounded hearts
To leave both south and north,
All changing things, and time as well
As sand, it must go forth.

Though far away, in distant lands
Lay pieces of our heart,
We meet again, paths reconvene
Our friendships can restart. 

The sun, those dead, and God above,
Will rise again we learn.
And then, and only then, we find
The sands of time return.

Honing: Just Another Hunger Games

Yep-that pretty much summarizes this whole post.

Well, that's the start of it. When you start getting older, you realize that free time continues to shrink, while your lists of things-to-do, things-you-want-to-do, and things-you-dream-of-doing continue to get longer and longer. The above image is evidence-one that happened about an hour after I created the account.

There are so many incredible things that can happen or that can be done in this world, and sometimes it can be so hard to choose which ones to choose and which ones to leave. The college atmosphere is when I started realizing this the most. Before this, I always stayed in my circle, and never really looked at anything. However, in college, all the options are open to you, and when you really look at all the options in front of you, it becomes hard to actually make that choice.

Let the Games begin. You have thousands of opportunities before you. Until you got here, you only really lived your life in the District, never really thinking about the future. But look at you now-with all these choices before you, you could go back to your District as the hero-your life would change immensely. But be careful, the choices may be many, but they are far from easy to make.

You. Think of all the talents you have now. Think of all the wonderful things that you've done in your life. Think of the great person you are. It's all great, isn't it? Yeah, it is. I agree with you. But at the same time, think of all the talents you don't have, think of all the things you haven't done, and the person you could be but probably never will be. Do you see the difference? The path in front of you is enormous-you could be anything-but whatever you do choose will narrow the path significantly. Don't believe me? Look behind you. The path is pretty small, isn't it? That's because when you chose do do, have, or be something, you gave up about a thousand other things.

Be aware of your talents-but beware of how you use them. Each choice you make can either lead you one step closer to your victory or one step closer to your death. You can run to the Cornucopia and grab all the supplies your heart desires, but the moment you do, it could land you right in front of  District Two's ax-wielding tribute. You would end there. You could run back to the trees behind you, but that you just get you caught in the next firestorm the Gamemakers decide to create. You would end there. So grab all the options that are in front of you-but be careful. Each step leads you closer-but you decide to what you are getting closer.

Some people are blessed with incredible talents, and it breaks my heart to see people give them up because they may not be as obvious or as presentable as others that people have. Honing talents may decrease the number of talents that one can learn, but at the same time, I find the people that dedicate their time to a small number of talents much more valuable than the person who spent so much time "sweeping the board" that none of their talents are really developed. So, to all those out there, recognize the great talents you have, and don't let them pass you by. Develop yourself to be special, stronger, better.

Realize that the talents you choose during training are those that will most help or hurt you during the Games. It can be tempting to grab a little bit of everything, but those that win are the ones that focus deeply on their specialized talents and make them the biggest factor in the Games. Don't let anyone tell you that your talents may not matter - just because you may not be able to wield an axe or shoot straight doesn't mean that your others skills aren't valuable...the most important thing is to remember to train those skills that will keep you alive.

The best part about what I believe is that there is an afterlife, and eternity. I believe here we will be able to have all the time we want to develop the skills we never had an opportunity to develop in this life. I believe there is a God that wants us to return to Him in the afterlife, and that in this life, He will want us to be the best people we can be, as will we. In my personal opinion, I believe this will allow us not only to further hone all the skills we have here, it will allow us time to develop the skills we always have wanted to (and may have the ability to), but never had the time to here on earth. Mind you, this is just an opinion, and it may be wishful thinking, but I believe that we will have all the time we want-and instead of just honing, we will truly be able to develop every skill possible. So remember...

May the odds be ever in your favor.

But if they aren't, God will be.

Happiness

I have a great new job-and by new, I mean I have been working there three months. Ha.

The people there are interesting. I don't have bad coworkers by any means, but it's just very interesting the   subject matter they focus on. Like any normal employee, they talk about work at work, but it's when we go on lunch break that the subjects get interesting. When I listen to them, it only makes me realize how much different I am than they.

The first focus is usually sports-this isn't actually all that unusual or interesting, it's guy talk-I just happen not to be interested in that. We'll skip over this topic, as it's more something that just doesn't interest me.

They also talk about business-this is the one that interests me. It seems as if when they are away from work, all their focus is about the newest Apple product they would like to buy, the hottest new car off the market, the latest app they have decided to design, an amazing business scheme that would make them oodles of money, etc. I find this particularly interesting simply because my own interests are so much different that theirs are. The biggest focus of their time is spent on something that, though interesting to them, does nothing for me. Though I think it would be mildly interesting to spend time trying my hand at things like this, it's not at all what I am truly interested in-and in a way, this job has helped me a lot in realizing what I really want to do in life by knowing precisely what I do not want to do.

Do you ever stop and think about the kind of people you most enjoy spending time with? Usually they are people that have the same interests as you do. I admire those people that have the ability to make deals, to build a house, to play sports, to manage a business, or whatever others skills people have. But in the end, that really doesn't interest me. I realize the people that I most enjoy spending time with are those that think, those that dream, and those that feel. As I work at this job, I realize that I could have the highest paying job in the world, in the richest place, with anything I wanted, and I would be miserable.

Personally, I couldn't care less if I never lived in a mansion, if I never traveled out of the country again, if I never met any famous person in my life, if I was never considered famous, or anything of the sort. I've realized, more than anything, the thing that makes me happy is seeing other people happy-and I want to make that a principal part of my life. I've never been happier than when I am helping other people, and that's the thing that I most want to do in life.

The things that matter most to me are not if I have the latest Smartphone, have the fanciest car to drive around (or even if I have a car), have the best job, the best clothes, the best body, or the best skills. I don't care if I am not wealthy, live in the country, am balding, or am not the next contestant on America's Got Talent. What matters to me are the things that really last-the things that I will take with me after this life. The things that matter most are good family relationships, friends that lift me up, choices that help me to be the best I can be, and all the other little things in life. Smiling, dancing in the rain, hiking, spending time alone with myself and God, and serving others is what matters most. What I most want is to help other people realize this-to realize that true happiness is what comes from within us, not from what is around us. 

I choose to major in Psychology. I choose to be a counselor-to help families, marriages, and those who are recovering from addictions. I choose to help people realize what true happiness means. I choose to lead people to God.

This is why.