The 3 Descriptions

This post is actually one that is continued from my last post, "Descriptions and Diversity". I have been thinking about this for some time, and I have thought of the three words that describe me best. I have obviously come a long way since I have been in high school. The words that I have come up with are much more abstract than the things that most junior high students, maybe even high school students, would think of, hence, I will explain as I go. I would encourage anyone who reads this to write this in their blog, as it is a refreshing point of view to regain, but this is a suggestion, not a command. The words I would use to describe myself now are "combined", "disconnected", and "contradictory". Don't worry, I'll explain.

First of all, I am "combined". Although I tend to be a little leery of relationships at first, aka "shy", once I get to know someone, I can easily relate to a lot of different things. I like to consider myself open-minded, so I am able to sympathize and work with people very easily. I am not one who gets mad...at all, really. I am simply one who can take a little portion of everyone in the world and relate to it.

Second, "disconnected". This one is more difficult to describe. It makes perfect sense to me, but I assume that most others won't understand it. This has two aspects. First of all, I watch the world continuously from a distance. I find everyday events mundane and pointless, and I constantly feel like I am suffocating, needing something more to satiate me. While I still participate in the world's activities, the mood strikes me suddenly and I can't focus on anything but the need to fulfill myself. The second part of this is much harder to describe (as if the first part wasn't). I am...apathetic, for lack of a better word. I can watch the events going on around me and be completely unaffected, as if I can choose what will control my life and what won't...that's about the best you're going to get out of that one, sorry.

Obviously, as you can already tell, the last description is "conflicting". From the two points above, that is already evident. What things are more opposite that being able to see everyone's side and at the same time distance yourself from them? I tend to do this a lot. For example, I hate the winter...and I am well aware hate is a strong word-it fits. However, there are times (even in the middle of the summer) when I have winter pangs, feeling like there is a part of me that needs winter. This is only one example. The list could go on and on, but at this point, there isn't much more I can do to explain what I already have tried my best at. Therefore, you have now read my own evaluation of the way I am-in three words.