I just watched "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown". I went into the theater in a...well, less than favorable mood, for reasons that will remain unnamed. Needless to say, as the play began, I was subconsciously thinking along the lines of "I dare you to make me enjoy this play." Hence, for around the first half hour, I had a very negative attitude towards the entire world...well, not the entire world, but everything around me at the time. However, there were some lines that hit me straight in the heart-namely a part in the musical when Lucy asks Linus "Give me one good reason why I should even stay on this planet!" after she finds out how crabby she is towards everyone, and Linus says "Because you have a little brother that loves you."
No worries, now I'm back to normal. I think I needed a "shock", for lack of a better word, to get me back to normal. I have been having...issues in my life that have been typical, but for personal reasons, which really aren't that good of reasons, I have been blowing these out of proportion. I needed this play to tell me that a child's life is the purest gift that we have. Simplicity and love are the main portions of this, and I formulated a quote that helped inspire me to try and live life more simply-more like a child. "Through the eyes of a child, life is made of joy, love, and magic-looks like we could all take a few lessons from them."
In closing, I hope that we can all try to live more childlike lives (note: childlike, not childish), and leave you with the last lines of the closing song in the musical. "Happiness is morning and evening, daytime and nighttime, too-for happiness is anything, and anywhere at all that's loved by you."
Friday, February 20, 2009
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Obsession
This is mostly an extension of my last post, but this tends to happen a lot. The reason I'm writing it is because it's happening again, and it's always oddly really strong, so I thought I'd explain it a little bit.
Usually after I get a new best friend or make a really strong role model, I start obsessing about them. And this isn't a mild obsession, this is like the stalker-creepy obsession, only with the exception of making it public-well, until now. I start connecting everything that I've ever known with that person-foods and smells that make me think of them, events that remind me of them, there are even clothes or behaviors that start reminding me of that person.
To try and save myself from the image of a creepy stalker (which I am not), let me just say that I have no idea why I do this. It's not as if it's a conscious decision, but rather something that my subconscious compels me to do, like it's something that is a drive inside me to satiate the emptiness I start feeling when I'm around them.
Okay, well that didn't turn out as well as I had planned. Now instead of sounding stalker-creepy, I sound like I'm possessed or have a mental disorder. Well people, I promise I have nothing of the sort. I have all my metal facilities, and the last time I checked, I'm not being controlled-I'm completely normal...mostly.
Usually after I get a new best friend or make a really strong role model, I start obsessing about them. And this isn't a mild obsession, this is like the stalker-creepy obsession, only with the exception of making it public-well, until now. I start connecting everything that I've ever known with that person-foods and smells that make me think of them, events that remind me of them, there are even clothes or behaviors that start reminding me of that person.
To try and save myself from the image of a creepy stalker (which I am not), let me just say that I have no idea why I do this. It's not as if it's a conscious decision, but rather something that my subconscious compels me to do, like it's something that is a drive inside me to satiate the emptiness I start feeling when I'm around them.
Okay, well that didn't turn out as well as I had planned. Now instead of sounding stalker-creepy, I sound like I'm possessed or have a mental disorder. Well people, I promise I have nothing of the sort. I have all my metal facilities, and the last time I checked, I'm not being controlled-I'm completely normal...mostly.
Monday, December 15, 2008
"Click"
Do you ever have those times when you meet someone, and you just happen to "click", so to speak? Good, I thought you did. Well, today my story is about a really unusual and unexpected "click".
So basically I go to visit the high school over the Thanksgiving break to see my friends, and there is a new sophomore sitting with them. Naturally, I introduce myself, and the only thing I find out there was this kid's name, which I will refrain from exposing for anonymity. Anyway, then I went back to college for the final two and a half weeks of the semester before I returned. As I was sitting there, I saw said child's profile picture and made him my friend. Looking at his profile, I had a sudden impression. Marcus* is going to be a really good friend of mine. I thought. And for me, it was more than that, because I have this thing where there are certain people who simply "click" more than others...it's more than a friend relationship. Don't ask me to explain, because I can't. I've tried to do it before, and people end up thinking I'm really weird.
I digress. So back at the ranch/ meanwhile/ whatever you want to put there, I wrote on Marcus's* wall. I didn't want to be all stalker-like or creepy, so I left it up for him to reply, but basically I said that I was interested in visiting with him. He replied back and said he didn't have a problem with it. The next day, we ended up having an hour long chat session on Facebook about nothing in particular. I was feeling particularly giddy that day. My suspicions had been mostly confirmed, seeing as how Marcus* and I had almost the exact same views on everything. We both decided we had to meet again in person and talk, because I wanted to see if he acted the same way in real life, because often online and real life are completely different.
I go to the Lone Peak Big Band Dance and we meet again. Needless to say, we visit again-only face-to-face. This was very fulfilling. I asked him some of my "harder" questions...and he responded in a way that only certain people can. Let's just say that some of my questions are ones that would leave almost anyone saying, "And? Where's the question part?" but he didn't do this.
Anyway, to prevent further rambling, let's just leave it at this. I am very happy, and I think I've just made a new best friend. Also, Merry Christmas and all that crap.
* Name has been changed. Yeah, I know it's a retarded one, but it was the first one that popped into my head that wasn't actually the kid's name.
So basically I go to visit the high school over the Thanksgiving break to see my friends, and there is a new sophomore sitting with them. Naturally, I introduce myself, and the only thing I find out there was this kid's name, which I will refrain from exposing for anonymity. Anyway, then I went back to college for the final two and a half weeks of the semester before I returned. As I was sitting there, I saw said child's profile picture and made him my friend. Looking at his profile, I had a sudden impression. Marcus* is going to be a really good friend of mine. I thought. And for me, it was more than that, because I have this thing where there are certain people who simply "click" more than others...it's more than a friend relationship. Don't ask me to explain, because I can't. I've tried to do it before, and people end up thinking I'm really weird.
I digress. So back at the ranch/ meanwhile/ whatever you want to put there, I wrote on Marcus's* wall. I didn't want to be all stalker-like or creepy, so I left it up for him to reply, but basically I said that I was interested in visiting with him. He replied back and said he didn't have a problem with it. The next day, we ended up having an hour long chat session on Facebook about nothing in particular. I was feeling particularly giddy that day. My suspicions had been mostly confirmed, seeing as how Marcus* and I had almost the exact same views on everything. We both decided we had to meet again in person and talk, because I wanted to see if he acted the same way in real life, because often online and real life are completely different.
I go to the Lone Peak Big Band Dance and we meet again. Needless to say, we visit again-only face-to-face. This was very fulfilling. I asked him some of my "harder" questions...and he responded in a way that only certain people can. Let's just say that some of my questions are ones that would leave almost anyone saying, "And? Where's the question part?" but he didn't do this.
Anyway, to prevent further rambling, let's just leave it at this. I am very happy, and I think I've just made a new best friend. Also, Merry Christmas and all that crap.
* Name has been changed. Yeah, I know it's a retarded one, but it was the first one that popped into my head that wasn't actually the kid's name.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
The 3 Descriptions
This post is actually one that is continued from my last post, "Descriptions and Diversity". I have been thinking about this for some time, and I have thought of the three words that describe me best. I have obviously come a long way since I have been in high school. The words that I have come up with are much more abstract than the things that most junior high students, maybe even high school students, would think of, hence, I will explain as I go. I would encourage anyone who reads this to write this in their blog, as it is a refreshing point of view to regain, but this is a suggestion, not a command. The words I would use to describe myself now are "combined", "disconnected", and "contradictory". Don't worry, I'll explain.
First of all, I am "combined". Although I tend to be a little leery of relationships at first, aka "shy", once I get to know someone, I can easily relate to a lot of different things. I like to consider myself open-minded, so I am able to sympathize and work with people very easily. I am not one who gets mad...at all, really. I am simply one who can take a little portion of everyone in the world and relate to it.
Second, "disconnected". This one is more difficult to describe. It makes perfect sense to me, but I assume that most others won't understand it. This has two aspects. First of all, I watch the world continuously from a distance. I find everyday events mundane and pointless, and I constantly feel like I am suffocating, needing something more to satiate me. While I still participate in the world's activities, the mood strikes me suddenly and I can't focus on anything but the need to fulfill myself. The second part of this is much harder to describe (as if the first part wasn't). I am...apathetic, for lack of a better word. I can watch the events going on around me and be completely unaffected, as if I can choose what will control my life and what won't...that's about the best you're going to get out of that one, sorry.
Obviously, as you can already tell, the last description is "conflicting". From the two points above, that is already evident. What things are more opposite that being able to see everyone's side and at the same time distance yourself from them? I tend to do this a lot. For example, I hate the winter...and I am well aware hate is a strong word-it fits. However, there are times (even in the middle of the summer) when I have winter pangs, feeling like there is a part of me that needs winter. This is only one example. The list could go on and on, but at this point, there isn't much more I can do to explain what I already have tried my best at. Therefore, you have now read my own evaluation of the way I am-in three words.
First of all, I am "combined". Although I tend to be a little leery of relationships at first, aka "shy", once I get to know someone, I can easily relate to a lot of different things. I like to consider myself open-minded, so I am able to sympathize and work with people very easily. I am not one who gets mad...at all, really. I am simply one who can take a little portion of everyone in the world and relate to it.
Second, "disconnected". This one is more difficult to describe. It makes perfect sense to me, but I assume that most others won't understand it. This has two aspects. First of all, I watch the world continuously from a distance. I find everyday events mundane and pointless, and I constantly feel like I am suffocating, needing something more to satiate me. While I still participate in the world's activities, the mood strikes me suddenly and I can't focus on anything but the need to fulfill myself. The second part of this is much harder to describe (as if the first part wasn't). I am...apathetic, for lack of a better word. I can watch the events going on around me and be completely unaffected, as if I can choose what will control my life and what won't...that's about the best you're going to get out of that one, sorry.
Obviously, as you can already tell, the last description is "conflicting". From the two points above, that is already evident. What things are more opposite that being able to see everyone's side and at the same time distance yourself from them? I tend to do this a lot. For example, I hate the winter...and I am well aware hate is a strong word-it fits. However, there are times (even in the middle of the summer) when I have winter pangs, feeling like there is a part of me that needs winter. This is only one example. The list could go on and on, but at this point, there isn't much more I can do to explain what I already have tried my best at. Therefore, you have now read my own evaluation of the way I am-in three words.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Description and Diversity
You all remember those times back in elementary school were you had a week where you had to make a poster about yourself, telling about your likes and dislikes, some pictures from your life, etc. You do? Good. Then you remember the part where you also had to describe yourself in three words. Back then, our minds were so limited, the best answers you got out of anyone would be "Smart, Funny," and something about that person's stuff, like "Has Cool Toys" or "Has Pretty Hair".
Then junior high ran around. Most people were so confused and trying to find themselves they didn't know what to write on the questionnaires the teachers handed out at the beginning of the year, so often the answers would be similarly juvenile. "Smart" often found a place in the mix, but there were slightly more mature answers, like "Dedicated" or "Neat-freak", but although more descriptive, they essentially meant the same thing-kids were still searching for themselves. Sometimes you would get a very...ambitious (for lack of a better word) person here and there who would write their supposed career or some other description, like "Future Doctor" or a quality needed for a certain job, like "Hardworking" or "Really Strong".
Once we reached high school, the papers handed out by the teacher usually disappeared, and no one had to worry about the "3 Descriptions" part. Oddly enough, the students ended up doing this to each other, and even worse, they ended up reverting almost back to the elementary school level, classifying everyone by their basest attributes, like "The Jocks", "The Preps", "The Brainiacs", "Band Geeks", etc.
Anyway, now I have been thinking about that here (at college) most people don't classify each other at all, just because everyone is so different it wouldn't really make any sense. I realize now that it didn't make any sense all along...well, except maybe in elementary school when you learned how to do this...but human nature took it too far. I think we need to realize diversity is not something to be afraid of-but loved. We are all so different, there's no need to criticize each other's faults when we have so much we can learn from each other.
Stay tuned next post for when Dressman posts his self-evaluating college version of "The 3 Descriptions"!...
Then junior high ran around. Most people were so confused and trying to find themselves they didn't know what to write on the questionnaires the teachers handed out at the beginning of the year, so often the answers would be similarly juvenile. "Smart" often found a place in the mix, but there were slightly more mature answers, like "Dedicated" or "Neat-freak", but although more descriptive, they essentially meant the same thing-kids were still searching for themselves. Sometimes you would get a very...ambitious (for lack of a better word) person here and there who would write their supposed career or some other description, like "Future Doctor" or a quality needed for a certain job, like "Hardworking" or "Really Strong".
Once we reached high school, the papers handed out by the teacher usually disappeared, and no one had to worry about the "3 Descriptions" part. Oddly enough, the students ended up doing this to each other, and even worse, they ended up reverting almost back to the elementary school level, classifying everyone by their basest attributes, like "The Jocks", "The Preps", "The Brainiacs", "Band Geeks", etc.
Anyway, now I have been thinking about that here (at college) most people don't classify each other at all, just because everyone is so different it wouldn't really make any sense. I realize now that it didn't make any sense all along...well, except maybe in elementary school when you learned how to do this...but human nature took it too far. I think we need to realize diversity is not something to be afraid of-but loved. We are all so different, there's no need to criticize each other's faults when we have so much we can learn from each other.
Stay tuned next post for when Dressman posts his self-evaluating college version of "The 3 Descriptions"!...
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