Perchance I'm a little overly sensitive. Scratch that. Undoubtedly I'm a little overly sensitive, but perchance I'm oversensitive to others' feelings. For example, when others get in trouble or get their feelings hurt, I almost always feel so bad for them, like it's me that was hurt. I guess, just like a girl in another blog I just read, I'm a "people pleaser". I can't really feel happy unless the ones I care about feel happy. But I also feel like I'm oversensitive about other things as well.
The other day, I was talking to one of my best friends. I was talking to him about how I needed to tell one of our mutual friends (though a better friend on his side than mine) something specific to only him. Yeah, refer to my "Click" post, even though I doubt that will help anything. He then went and talked to said friend, and apparently he thought we (meaning he and I) weren't friends anymore. Sad day! I'll admit, I didn't really talk to him much/ever, but I still personally felt like we were good friends, but it was solely based on one really excellent conversation that we'd had-about two years ago. Honestly, I haven't really talked to him much since then. I guess I shouldn't be that surprised with his opinion, but it makes me disappointed that I thought one way and he the other. Hopefully you understood all/any of that.
I think what makes it more saddening to me is that I don't want anyone to feel like I have "dis-friended" them, just because, again, in elementary school, I didn't have very many friends at all, I and I don't ever want anyone to feel like I'm ignoring them or am not their friend. So I guess, in short, this is a partial apology to that child, and anyone else out there who has ever felt I don't care about them, or even if you're just a normal friend. I promise it's not true. If you're my friend (ever), I'll always consider you my friend, no matter what happens between us. Just know that.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Belonging
I don't think there could be a more appropriate word for how I'm feeling right now. There's the longing part, which I have been feeling especially recently, and it's sort of a longing to be, partially to be with people, and partially to be able to be myself.
My job is okay, I guess. It gets me money and things, I just hate how much it seems to cut into my time. I'm sure it really isn't as much as I think it is, but when one has to get up at 6AM for work in the summer...well, that's not the first thing on my to-do list. I'd much rather spend time with friends and family, those I love. The only thing is, if I didn't have a job, I know that wouldn't happen. I'd just sit around the house all day wondering what to do...so maybe I'm glad I have a job, just because the amount of time I have decreased, so I have more initiative to get together with people when I can.
Wow...that had nothing at all to do with what I was going for. Oh, well. Essentially, what bugs me is the little differences that people when you are hanging out with them one-on-one versus when they are all in a group. It bugs me. Why can't people just act the same both ways? Also, I really wish that I could be in a really good friend group. I have plenty of friends, and many of them I would term best friends, but now, they all seem to have their own (not necessarily exclusive, but more...specific, if that makes sense) groups of friends that they get along really well with, and it seems like I don't have one of these myself. I'm probably just drawing too strong of connections between people I don't really know and minimizing connections with people I do, but I wouldn't be surprised if that came from my childhood. I don't remember ever having a friend group that I'd hang out with in elementary school. Usually I was alone. Maybe the combinations of these things is why one of my greatest fears is being completely alone.
My job is okay, I guess. It gets me money and things, I just hate how much it seems to cut into my time. I'm sure it really isn't as much as I think it is, but when one has to get up at 6AM for work in the summer...well, that's not the first thing on my to-do list. I'd much rather spend time with friends and family, those I love. The only thing is, if I didn't have a job, I know that wouldn't happen. I'd just sit around the house all day wondering what to do...so maybe I'm glad I have a job, just because the amount of time I have decreased, so I have more initiative to get together with people when I can.
Wow...that had nothing at all to do with what I was going for. Oh, well. Essentially, what bugs me is the little differences that people when you are hanging out with them one-on-one versus when they are all in a group. It bugs me. Why can't people just act the same both ways? Also, I really wish that I could be in a really good friend group. I have plenty of friends, and many of them I would term best friends, but now, they all seem to have their own (not necessarily exclusive, but more...specific, if that makes sense) groups of friends that they get along really well with, and it seems like I don't have one of these myself. I'm probably just drawing too strong of connections between people I don't really know and minimizing connections with people I do, but I wouldn't be surprised if that came from my childhood. I don't remember ever having a friend group that I'd hang out with in elementary school. Usually I was alone. Maybe the combinations of these things is why one of my greatest fears is being completely alone.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
...
Yesterday was an excellent day. Unexpected, indeed. But it was a good unexpected-a very good one. Michael Dressman is very happy now.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Music
This should make some of you laugh, even though it's exceedingly short. I was listening to Pandora at work today, and enjoying my soundtrack station...and then Rhapsody in Blue came on. I just cried a little bit I was so excited. Seriously.
I also heard some Star Trek music (I love Star Trek), which 1) Made me want to watch First Contact, and 2) Made me miss Curtis. This is okay, though. He's in the right place.
I love music.
I also heard some Star Trek music (I love Star Trek), which 1) Made me want to watch First Contact, and 2) Made me miss Curtis. This is okay, though. He's in the right place.
I love music.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Congraduation!
Yesterday I attended my younger brother's high school graduation ceremony. It's only been a year since mine, but it brought back very good memories. And after thinking about it last night, I decided to give congratulations, excellent jobs, and thank you-s to all those who performed, all those who spoke, all those who graduated, and all who helped us get there.
First of all, congratulations, Dallin Dressman! You are an incredibly intelligent boy, and it made me so proud to see you sitting up there in the top thirty. I'm happy to have you as my brother, and you will do wonders for the world with your brilliant mind. As long as you stick to what you know and continue to learn, I believe there will be no end to what you can do. I love you and and so grateful that God has given me such a wonderful brother to live with, through laughs and through arguments, I know that you'll be with me forever, and I couldn't ask for a more wonderful gift.
Secondly, congratulations to my cousin, Kellie Neilsen. I love you and I know we'll both miss each other terribly when you leave for college and I on my mission. You have such a bright and outgoing personality, and you will change so many other peoples' lives with that attitude. This personality will also help you in any field you decide to go into.Don't give that up for anything. Also, don't compromise your standards for anything, not that I'm saying you will, just to keep that in mind.
Plus also, to some other select graduates. Kevin (the butt!!) Carter! I cheered when I saw you. You have such a strong personality, and I would advise you never to give that up. It's the biggest thing that makes you you. Don't ever stop being yourself. Kylie Moe! Hooray! I saw you down there, and you have the brighest and sunniest attitude, it makes anyone smile. Don't ever stop lifting people up, that's what you do. Celeste Sweeney! See, I told you you'd make it. Through thick and thin, you've still made it through-even to prom. The world is ahead of you now, but don't let it frighten you or make you nervous. Instead, frighten the world with how wonderful you are. I know you can. James Graham! It's over! Now you can get on with your life. You have a very sympathetic nature, from what I can tell. Don't be so afraid to share that with other people. It's not common in most guys, but it's a good thing that you have. Nathan (Tee) Merrill! You made it! Don't worry about college, it's much better than you think. One thing...share yourself with people. It's okay to be antisocial sometimes, but not always. The thing is, if you keep yourself away from others, you're being selfish by not showing them one of the brightest personalities they may ever find. Make new friends. You change people (for the better), and I don't think you realize the extent to which you do that.
To all the graduates from our ward, along with my brother, I'd just like to mention by name. Congratulations Ryan Lopez, Lauren Miner, Mary Dalrymple, Brittany Knapp, Britanny Southworth, Lauren Giles, Jordan Dastrup, Jill Jensen, Montana Newman, Katie Roberts, and (hopefully not) any others that I forgot.
To all above and all the other graduates, a large congratulations! You've made it, and your real life is now ahead of you. As Chip Koop said, enjoy your hot chocolate! To Keenan Larsen and Nathaniel Pribil, excellent job with your graduation speeches. They were incredibly well-written, and I was moved.
To the choir and symphony orchestra, as well as the "Unwritten Singers" and Jordan Wilkinson-excellent job with all of your musical numbers, I always look forward to what Lone Peak has to perform musically. To Sam Bunderson, partially for at graduation, but mostly for the orchestra concert-incredible job! To be a sophomore and play what you are playing, and at the level you perform it, is simply astounding-especially to fellow pianists like myself. To Travis Howden, excellent job for actually showing up to the graduation ceremony, though that means I can't murder you. :) Oh, well.
And I'm sure this comes from Dallin and all the graduating seniors as well as myself, reminiscing from last year, thank you to all of the friends that helped us along the way. You were there for us when we were having a bad hair day, a bad grade day, or just a plain bad day. You were the ones we shared our secrets with, the ones we got in trouble with, and the ones we could just act stupid around and not have to worry about it.
To our teachers-sure, you gave us a bunch of grief with tests, grades, assignments, papers, projects, etc. I'm sure at least every one of you has had a student talk bad about you behind your back once in your life, but in all honesty, when we hit graduation, it doesn't matter how much we thought we hated you in class. We really do love you, and we'll give a cheer to you for all you've done to educate us, and even to those teachers we've never had. If we're lucky, we hope to have even taught you a thing or to. So thank you.
And of course, to our parents, who've raised us since birth, seen the best and the worst, we thank you. There's no way we could have done it without you. You nag us, you pester us, you bother us, but in the end, none of that is what teaches us. What teaches us is the examples that you provide for us, the silent deeds you don't know we're watching, and the love that you spread around that makes us want to follow your footsteps bravely into the big wide world.
So, in closing, congratulations Lone Peak class of '09, and look out world, here they come!
Oh, and also, congratulations to Dallin Brown, who received the loudest cheer that I heard out of everyone.
First of all, congratulations, Dallin Dressman! You are an incredibly intelligent boy, and it made me so proud to see you sitting up there in the top thirty. I'm happy to have you as my brother, and you will do wonders for the world with your brilliant mind. As long as you stick to what you know and continue to learn, I believe there will be no end to what you can do. I love you and and so grateful that God has given me such a wonderful brother to live with, through laughs and through arguments, I know that you'll be with me forever, and I couldn't ask for a more wonderful gift.
Secondly, congratulations to my cousin, Kellie Neilsen. I love you and I know we'll both miss each other terribly when you leave for college and I on my mission. You have such a bright and outgoing personality, and you will change so many other peoples' lives with that attitude. This personality will also help you in any field you decide to go into.Don't give that up for anything. Also, don't compromise your standards for anything, not that I'm saying you will, just to keep that in mind.
Plus also, to some other select graduates. Kevin (the butt!!) Carter! I cheered when I saw you. You have such a strong personality, and I would advise you never to give that up. It's the biggest thing that makes you you. Don't ever stop being yourself. Kylie Moe! Hooray! I saw you down there, and you have the brighest and sunniest attitude, it makes anyone smile. Don't ever stop lifting people up, that's what you do. Celeste Sweeney! See, I told you you'd make it. Through thick and thin, you've still made it through-even to prom. The world is ahead of you now, but don't let it frighten you or make you nervous. Instead, frighten the world with how wonderful you are. I know you can. James Graham! It's over! Now you can get on with your life. You have a very sympathetic nature, from what I can tell. Don't be so afraid to share that with other people. It's not common in most guys, but it's a good thing that you have. Nathan (Tee) Merrill! You made it! Don't worry about college, it's much better than you think. One thing...share yourself with people. It's okay to be antisocial sometimes, but not always. The thing is, if you keep yourself away from others, you're being selfish by not showing them one of the brightest personalities they may ever find. Make new friends. You change people (for the better), and I don't think you realize the extent to which you do that.
To all the graduates from our ward, along with my brother, I'd just like to mention by name. Congratulations Ryan Lopez, Lauren Miner, Mary Dalrymple, Brittany Knapp, Britanny Southworth, Lauren Giles, Jordan Dastrup, Jill Jensen, Montana Newman, Katie Roberts, and (hopefully not) any others that I forgot.
To all above and all the other graduates, a large congratulations! You've made it, and your real life is now ahead of you. As Chip Koop said, enjoy your hot chocolate! To Keenan Larsen and Nathaniel Pribil, excellent job with your graduation speeches. They were incredibly well-written, and I was moved.
To the choir and symphony orchestra, as well as the "Unwritten Singers" and Jordan Wilkinson-excellent job with all of your musical numbers, I always look forward to what Lone Peak has to perform musically. To Sam Bunderson, partially for at graduation, but mostly for the orchestra concert-incredible job! To be a sophomore and play what you are playing, and at the level you perform it, is simply astounding-especially to fellow pianists like myself. To Travis Howden, excellent job for actually showing up to the graduation ceremony, though that means I can't murder you. :) Oh, well.
And I'm sure this comes from Dallin and all the graduating seniors as well as myself, reminiscing from last year, thank you to all of the friends that helped us along the way. You were there for us when we were having a bad hair day, a bad grade day, or just a plain bad day. You were the ones we shared our secrets with, the ones we got in trouble with, and the ones we could just act stupid around and not have to worry about it.
To our teachers-sure, you gave us a bunch of grief with tests, grades, assignments, papers, projects, etc. I'm sure at least every one of you has had a student talk bad about you behind your back once in your life, but in all honesty, when we hit graduation, it doesn't matter how much we thought we hated you in class. We really do love you, and we'll give a cheer to you for all you've done to educate us, and even to those teachers we've never had. If we're lucky, we hope to have even taught you a thing or to. So thank you.
And of course, to our parents, who've raised us since birth, seen the best and the worst, we thank you. There's no way we could have done it without you. You nag us, you pester us, you bother us, but in the end, none of that is what teaches us. What teaches us is the examples that you provide for us, the silent deeds you don't know we're watching, and the love that you spread around that makes us want to follow your footsteps bravely into the big wide world.
So, in closing, congratulations Lone Peak class of '09, and look out world, here they come!
Oh, and also, congratulations to Dallin Brown, who received the loudest cheer that I heard out of everyone.
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